Archive for the ‘Gear’ Category
Today’s post is about….shopping.
Just think about the latter part of this week, when lots and lots of folks, freshly fueled by the consumption a large, flightless bird, stuffed with a nearly lethal mix of bread, spices, sausage, amphetamines, and Ripped Muscle X Factor, head for the malls. Their congenial, green, family car has been retrofitted to be menacing enough to suit that well know warrior of the wasteland, the Lord Humungus. I’m thinking some sort of scythe-like snowplow blade, enough armor to put a Humvee to shame, and a port in the back to drop buckets of nails on the tarmac, should someone in a competitor vehicle be angling for that object of desire, a prime parking spot at the mall. The car rumbles to life in the garage, and instead of the sprightly cry of, “Let’s go shopping, kids!” the mom, sitting in the navigational seat, with traffic pattern screens glowing in front of her, kitted out for all the world like she’s going to roller derby practice, says simply, ala Joan Allen in Death Race, “Release the dreadnaught!”
And all that happens before you even get into the stores.