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Tri-Grip Thief Strikes in Florida….

Apr 12

In News at 6:36am

david-ziser-mug-shot

According to police reports stemming from the well attended NAPP (National Association of PhotoShop Professionals) Convention in Orlando, Florida, this man, David Ziser, shown above, has allegedly not returned a  Tri-grip “borrowed” during the event to its’ rightful owner. The owner has duly reported it to authorities as theft. Ziser, a well known wedding photographer from the little town of Edgewood, Ky., has apparently left Florida.

Joe McNally, the owner and operator of the tri-grip, was too emotionally distraught to speak directly with reporters, and simply offered this statement via an intermediary. “I have a few of them, but that one was my favorite. I used it to fan Michelle Pfeiffer. The gold reflective side still had baby oil on it from a Maxim shoot. I mean, I could get another, but honestly, I feel like some of my memories have been torn away.”

Drew Gurian, who is, according to police, “close to the situation,” spoke with the crush of media outside Orlando Police Headquarters. “I really sympathize with Joe, frankly. This is no small thing. He loved that tri-grip. He made some of his best pictures with it. There was this time, during an annual report for a band camp, he used diffusion to take the edge off the highlight on a tuba hoop. It was a moment that the job could have gone either way. And Joe saved it with that move, and that tri-grip.”

Back in the individual’s home town, people are coming forward. Neighbor Betsy Loopenwhopper stated flatly, “I knew all that squeaky clean, Mr. Nice Guy Wedding Photog stuff was too good to be true. There was something off. I mean, anybody who actually cuts the grass wearing a suit and tie is just flat out weird.”

Some feel it is a marketing ploy, plain and simple. Ziser, originator of the popular “Zumbrella” light shaping tool, may have economic goals in mind.

“Definitely, ” said RC Concepcion, who claims to know both parties. “He thinks that if he deprives Joe of his Tri-.grip, Joe will have to resort to a Zumbrella on his next job. I don’t see that happening, but it might.”

Likewise, Scott Kelby, President of NAPP, said, “A few weeks back, we had a couple of strobes, and some spot grids go missing from NAPP’s photo studio. David hadn’t been there in a while, and nobody actually saw him with the strobes, but…you just kinda knew it was him. He’s slippery like that.”

Ziser and his wife LaDawn, whom authorities have described as a “person of interest,” have yet to surface. Unconfirmed reports indicate they are in Mexico, where one of the poolside attendants at an unnamed luxury resort described a woman matching LaDawn Ziser’s description cooling her self with a “extremely large and unusual fan, gold on one side, white on the other.”

Most, though, feel there is no nefarious intent on the part of Ziser. In fact, some feel he may just be swept up in the euphoria of the success of his new book, Captured by the Light. Dr. Otto Focus, of the PsychoNeurotic Institute for Anxious Photographers (a division of the PsychoNeurotic Institute for the Very, Very Nervous) feels this is unquestionably the case. “Mr. Ziser says it himself, in the title of the book. ‘ He is “captured by the light.’ He obviously feels that he has this kinship with light, a direct line of communication to all things luminous. This will pass.”

picture-2

Meanwhile, McNally remains in Connecticut, hoping Ziser will reach out to him. “Maybe if he sent me, like, a dozen zumbrellas. I’d feel better.” More tk….


106 Responses to “Tri-Grip Thief Strikes in Florida….”

Derryl says:

on April 12, 2010 at 6:41 am

hahaha….Monday morning does not feel all that bad after all…off to a good start. Thanks Joe! LOL

Ken says:

on April 12, 2010 at 6:41 am

Awesome post – funny way to start my Monday!!! This is bigger news that the CS5 announcement for sure!

Mark Teo says:

on April 12, 2010 at 6:42 am

Hahahaha what a great piece !Esp the baby oil from the Maxim Shoot

Morne says:

on April 12, 2010 at 6:46 am

Tri as I mightt to the contrary, I get the feeling this post isn’t a true reflection of the situation.

So McNally, get a grip! Oh, wait… that’s the problem here isn’t it?

Thanks for taking a bit of blue out of Monday!

Antoine says:

on April 12, 2010 at 6:50 am

You can’t trust anybody anymore! Hope you will recover your trip-grip unharmed and still baby oiled ;)

Sean McCormack says:

on April 12, 2010 at 6:55 am

Hey Joe,
Too funny. I nearly wet myself laughing..

If you’re really stuck, I’ve one I never use…

Howard Haby says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:05 am

LOL!! This is fantastic. Hilarious!! Great read to start off my week. Thanks.

MisterB says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:05 am

Too funny!

Karl Bradley says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:07 am

I’ve found that if you carefully prise the tri-grip grip open, there’s enough room for a couple of pounds of C4 connected to a bluetooth proximity sensor. Tri-grip goes out of range of your phone and boom. Okay, doesn’t stop the 1st one being stolen, but you know they won’t steal another.

Disclaimer. Don’t set your equipment up, remember you left the memory-card holder in the car and go back for it…………

PS. Seriously, when are you going to do a workshop in the UK? ( UK —-> little country across the pond).

Jeff W says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:08 am

This is hilarious! Awesome writing, Joe!

DSWfoto says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:10 am

Mr. Ziser did borrow a reflector of Joe’s which I vividly remember seeing returned prior to the keynote. Has anyone interviewed Syl Arena?

P.S. Where did you find a picture of David WITHOUT a sport coat?

hfng says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:11 am

Lol! This is just too funny!

Brian says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:23 am

Haha, I knew he looked dodgy, Love his new book though which sits beside your books Joe, but last night I found your books on the ground, I think Ziser’s book may have pushed them off the shelf.. Shame on him !! ;)

Marc says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:24 am

This post was a great laugh. You’re a riot, Mr. McNally :)

david says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:27 am

I knew it! He always seemed so nice but you knew deep down there was something not quite right. I mean, who in their right mind can put out free info and videos on a daily basis and not be trying to cover up a more sinister side.

Give it back Mr Ziser, if that is your real name. And seek help.

:-)

Leah Hewitt says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:32 am

Joe, your blog posts are always something I look forward to, but this one was really laugh out loud.

Will definitely check out Mr. Ziser’s new book!

Keep posting!

Phil Way says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:36 am

Very funny! Why is it that everytime I visit your blog, my wallet seems to get lighter!?

Kris Mitchell says:

on April 12, 2010 at 7:39 am

Ha! Brilliant post – (I always thought that Ziser fellow was shifty) – but really, it gave me a much needed laugh halfway through the working day.

Thanks!
Kris

Jeff says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:03 am

Haha! Just what I needed this Monday morning!

Thanks Joe!

Chris Parker says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:05 am

Ha ha! Hope you get it back soon (or 12 zumbrellas)!

AndyH says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:11 am

I hope David can take a joke as well as he takes equipment! I also hope the tri-grip doesn’t turn up in your bag after this ‘accusation’!

I just visited David’s blog to see if he’d responded – not yet.

I left a suggestion in his suggestion box that he do a post about using ‘borrowed’ tri-grip reflectors, now he has the gear, there’s no excuse!

Love your work Joe – oh, and according to David, you can bounce a flash off a Grooms white shirt so that’s part of the tri-grip’s use covered, now where’d I put that groom? “LaDawn”!!

Martin Jensen says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:13 am

HAHA this is to funny…

Grant Perry says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:15 am

Nice – rofl.

Jason says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:21 am

So sorry to hear about the Tri Grip Joe. I remember you using it once to bounce a little extra light onto a hoodoo in Bryce. You seemed so happy then, you and your Tri Grip. I remembered thinking that when you used that Tri Grip, your face lit up like never before… (pun intended)

Brittan McGinnis says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:23 am

I think he might of just been jealous that you got to fan Michele Pfiefer with your tri-grip and the zumbrella has yet to have such an honor. ;-)

Jeffrey Snyder says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:27 am

Possibly it will be personally returned by Mr Ziser, or one of his assistants at your next Dobbs Ferry workshop? The Tri-Grip could slide in and blend in with the other Lastolite’s up against the wall??

Christina says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:32 am

I bet now on that he or anyone else will never forget to return your gear back. good stuff Joe

RobertaL says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:44 am

Great post, Joe. It’s good to know that journalism degree hasn’t been wasted!

Hala says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:44 am

hahahaha, you’re the best Joe! I say go after him :-)

Patricia says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:47 am

I am going to rank this as your funniest ever blog. I will be re-reading it during the week when I need a smile.

Eric Geidl says:

on April 12, 2010 at 8:49 am

Hahaha !

It is always funny to read your posts, but this one … !

José Caetano says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:00 am

You’re so funny! Thanks

Lyle says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:08 am

Clever. lol

John says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:20 am

Great post, Joe!

Just FYI, the link to ze Zumbrellas has an extra “http://” at the start, causing a dead link.

Phil in Aus says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:25 am

Joe, you should have put out an APB… not for Ziser wedding photographers are a dime a dozen these days (respect to DZ) An APB on a tri-grip will be easier to describe and more believable!

JoeH says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:27 am

Gee..here Mr McNally you can have my trigrip.

No really. Its OK, you can have it.

Cue soda beverage theme song.

LOL

Monte Stevens says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:28 am

Thanks, Joe, a great way to start the week! Are posting a reward?

MaticK says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:32 am

LOL, good one Joe.. Hope you get your stuff back asap!

Can’t wait to finally meet you in person on the 20th :)

Girish says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:50 am

Haha nice to read some funny posts.
He will laugh hard once he reads this.

David says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:53 am

Laugh out loud funny (and sad). Mr. Ziser must be on hard times and all his ‘flare’ must be for show.
Is this blog notice your call for ‘DONATIONS’ to help you purchase a new Tri-Grip? Does anyone have change for a nickle?

David Ziser says:

on April 12, 2010 at 9:55 am

Now you have done it! I am putting it on ebay.

Earl says:

on April 12, 2010 at 10:10 am

Hilarious!

Carl Licari says:

on April 12, 2010 at 10:21 am

I was about to order the swine’s new book until I read the gory details of the crime.
Maybe if he comes forward with your trigrip I’ll reconsider. :-O

Jeffrey Chapman says:

on April 12, 2010 at 10:32 am

Reading this might have saved my morning. Thanks.

Skip Barber says:

on April 12, 2010 at 10:43 am

Great post, Joe. You started my day with a smile.

Edward McNally says:

on April 12, 2010 at 10:44 am

Now Mr. Ziser’s name qualifies to be next to last on the No-Fly list.

Rob Byron says:

on April 12, 2010 at 10:47 am

Brings back horrid memories of when someone stole my used gym socks back in junior high school. I still feel violated. I’m sure, however, that whoever opened the plastic bag containing the socks soon felt violated as well.

I’m sending your press release to America’s Most Wanted. People need to know about this dangerous criminal.

Carol Watkins says:

on April 12, 2010 at 11:05 am

Very funny!!!! Made my day.

Stephen Ratcliff says:

on April 12, 2010 at 11:24 am

Joe,
David’s post about the TRI being on ebay is a “red herring” check Craig’s List.
the tooth slueth

Chris Gray says:

on April 12, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Sure it wasn’t Moose Peterson. Heard he was looking for one during the Bison photo shoot.

Thanks for the Monday sun shine.

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